The Science of Self Affirmation

By Alexandrea Day, Founder, CEO, Meta-Brain Labs

Humans are programmed to autonomously engage their environment both physically, mentally, and emotionally.  The purpose for an automated response is for safety and secondarily for efficiency.  Considering this, let’s look at how programming is affecting women, their lives, roles, and their success.

Where does programming come from?  Research reveals that it’s a combination of heredity, experience, and lifelong learning. This means we are the result of what family we were born in, how, where and when we were raised, and life experiences, including place and area of study.  This explains why someone born in China during the “one child policy,” educated at Yale University will have a completely different worldview than someone born to a shrimp harvesting family in the bayou. Imagine if each exchanged a day’s routine with each other.  They would have to think through every action clumsily with no experience of the other to draw on resulting in a very stressful experience.


"Any man could, if he were so inclined, be the sculptor of his own brain."

― Santiago Ramon y Cajal, Advice for a Young Investigator.

These two examples are very diverse but it’s an example of how we are set to view our lives through the lens of our experience. Women specifically have experienced gender bias across cultures, families, and in society that results in pay, investment, and corporate Board position deficits.

If you were raised in a family where girls were encouraged to speak up, compete, and told there are no limits then these women are the future of equality.

If you were raised in a family where boys were preferred or told that higher education is secondary to marrying well, or told you had to work twice as much as a man to be even, then you are set up to lose.

Again, everyone has their own specific experiences to deal with.  Many perceptions developed out of experience, are good, even great.  But it’s the self-limiting learning that needs to be addressed if a woman wants to reach her full potential.

So, how can a woman take control of her life and no longer bow to her programming?  The first step is to be present, to be aware of the negative messaging she is programmed with. This awareness comes first from wanting to know, becoming a seeker of one’s own truth.  Mindfulness, meditation, and paying attention to thoughts that bubble up while navigating life.  For example, when talking to your boss, a thought bubbles up, “I wish he/she would see me for who I really am.” Jot it down and after work ask yourself, “Why do I feel invisible?”  Consider past experiences that were similar and again ask why.  You may find the answer in repeated experiences of parents having no time for you because they worked, or drank, or were just not emotionally available. Everyone’s experience is unique and finding the perceptions developed out of them is what you are looking for.

The next step is to change the perceptions you no longer want to act on.  This is easier said than done but educate yourself on the subject matter. Learn how others handle the same limitations and then choose to change your mind, literally.  You can use affirmations.  First deprogram what you have believed by saying to yourself, “I no longer feel that I am invisible.”  Then program in the desired belief, “I feel seen as the person I really am.”  And repeat it daily for 3 weeks!  (It takes 3 weeks to change a behavior).

Our world is on the cusp of being able to change our minds on a daily basis to conform to what we want to believe and not what we were previously programmed to be so that we contribute to the world In our own unique way. We each have a unique contribution to make. It’s your secret treasure and you can only give it when you find it.  Humans have the desire to excel, to reach beyond limitations.  Only a few to date have been able to actualize their dreams because they were not limited by their programming; they were programmed for success. This power will soon be in the hands of all.  Then, humans will find the path to human equality regardless of gender, race, or creed.

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